Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
