I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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