shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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