I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have post one night stand depression
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