I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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