Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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