He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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