Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
