I'm really into asian looking animals
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
