I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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