i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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