oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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