Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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