an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
