My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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