oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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