someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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