my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
then he tried to convert me to islam
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize