she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
