Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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