possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My life is pants optional.
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