you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
