Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Found your dick twin last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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