once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize