You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
