Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
