3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
