it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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