i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
