apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
