fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize