my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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