VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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