Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool"Â excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
