well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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