just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize