Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Houston, we have a blender
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
