I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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