Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need to sanitize my soul.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
