she looked like the before picture.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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