Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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