You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
