we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
