I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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