You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
