The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
