Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
