Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize