Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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