It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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