There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
