Sry I called you an 8
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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