You can't special order awesome
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
