THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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