i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
