GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
