girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
